How to create margin in a life that already feels full
It All Begins Here
Why Women Live without margin
Why Hustle Culture is Burning Women Out
It All Begins Here
For years women have been told that success looks like doing more, being more and never slowing down. When I first became a mother my career was young. I had only been working at my company for three years when I had my daughter. I remember so many mornings I would cry on my way to work, knowing that she would not take a bottle. Don’t be me wrong, I’m glad I stuck it out. I remember telling myself that I can have it all. I can be an amazing mother, wife, daughter and employee.
Wake up early.
Work harder.
Push through your exhaustion.
Workout and eat protein.
Drink one galloon of water a day.
Wear burnout like a badge of honor.
And somehow…still be a good wife, mom, daughter, employee and friend.
It is NO WONDER so many women feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and disconnected from themselves.
I remember trying to be a #Momboss. I once bought a shirt that said "Mother Hustler”.
HUSTLE CULTURE WAS NEVER BUILT FOR WOMEN
Hustle culture glorifies being constantly productive, but it ignores the emotional labor, the mental load we carry every single day. Most women are not just working a job. They are managing a household. They are carrying immense emotional weight. Constantly anticipating everyone’s wants and needs. Holding families together. Managing everyone’s calendars.
Yet we are told if we are tired then we need to just “go to sleep earlier”. That we should just manage our time better.
The truth is we are not lazy. We are overloaded.
The Cost of “Always On”
When hustle becomes the norm, the body eventually lets us know something isn’t right.
We start to experience the following:
Chronic fatigue
Anxiety
Irritability
Hormone Imbalances
Sleep issues (ever wake up at 3 am?)
Brain fog
Feeling numb or disconnected
Lack of happiness
Lack of nutrition or emotional eating
Often instead of resting we end up chugging an energy drinki, adding more supplements and trying new productivity hacks to try to keep going.
But pushing harder doesn’t fix burnout. It deepens it.
Productivity Without Presence Isn’t Sucess
Hustle culture teaches us that our worth is tied to our output. It’s often quantity of activities over quality. Some parents also do this to their children. That’s a whole other blog.
What’s the point in doing all these things if we’re exhausted all the time? If we can’t enjoy the life we are building with our family? If your nervous system never feels safe enough to rest?
Real success isn’t doing everything, it’s being present for what actually matters. Be Here Now - a phrase often used in corporate culture. I find myself saying that to myself more in my personal life than in my business life.
Enter the Soft Life (No, it doesn’t mean being lazy)
When I first heard the concept of soft life I thought it meant giving up responsibilities or ambition. That’s not the case at all.
It means:
Prioritizing your nervous system
Building routines that support your energy
Allowing yourself to rest without guilt (this is a BIG one for me)
Letting “enough” truly be enough
Creating margin (intentional space) in your life so you’re not constantly operating at your limit all the time
Soft doesn’t mean weak. It means sustainable.
What Can We Do Instead
Honor our capacity - some days we have a lot of energy, some days we don’t. That’s okay. Take your capacity pulse.
Redefine productivity - rest, fun and connection with loved ones count too.
Stop glorifying burnout - exhaustion isn’t a good trait. We don’t have to be martyrs.
Create small daily rituals that support both your body and your mind.
Grant yourself permission to slow down - without guilt or explanation.
You don’t have to earn rest.
You don’t need to feel guilty for slowing down.
You do not need to prove your worth by being exhausted and crabby.
You’re Allowed to Want More Ease
If you bought into the hustle culture, but now you’re left tired, overwhelmed and asking yourself why does everything feel so difficult - you are not alone.
This is another way.
A way that honors your energy.
A way that leaves room for joy and fun.
A way that supports the life you are actually living.
It starts with choosing softness- one small decision at a time.